i am.

my sister had this room mate, right?.. >>>

she welcomed her into her home because this girl's at school crying a river about how she gets raped every night at the place she's staying at.
so my sister does what any person w| a heart (& a spare bedroom) would do.
she let her come stay w| her.
her whole time living w| us, she spent starting shit.
don't get me wrong, she was alright when she wanted to be..
but upon my first seeing her; i did not like her.
she was dirt black.. (& dwyane was black as hell, so it wasn't a skin thing.)
& she was bummy lookin'.. she actually LOOKED dirty & poor.
but anyway, she lived there.. 6 months? half a year.
her whole time staying there, she was filling out hella applications.
.....but never got not even a CALL BACK.....
so yeah, basically she was living for free.
& keep in mind, this chick is 27 years old.
she's in college, but she's taking PRE-everything classes;
pre-algebra, pre-english, pre-science, etc.
so, when she moved out.. well got kicked out technically..
she was acting like we were best friends.
Now like I said, no one liked her, because she started shit.
it turned out.. my ex boyfriend (yeah, Jacquis) has this cousin named Michelle..
& my sisters room mate was beefin' w| her over some dude..
which turned out to be Michelle's babies father.
So, she came on my facebook page (like something a kid would do) & wrote something about Michelle.
"keep my name out your mouth bitch" or something along the lines of that.
& if you have facebook, you know how when someone else comments on something you commented on, it notifies you?
Michelle was notified because she commented earlier.
My sisters room mate got mad because she got herself checked.
Then messaged me, saying I started the shit.
0_0.
That's just the beginning though.
From day one, she was saying me & my ex were fake.. because we didn't like her.
& hell yeah i talked about her dirty ass! DO SOMETHING W| YOURSELF!
...so she comments on my best friends facebook behind me, talking about "fake people".
.......she spent the majority of her stay beefin' w| my best friend.
So I tell the bitch stop kissin' ass!!
"he doesn't even LIKE you!" were my exact words.
She wanted to go to the extreme & call me a bitch.
Mistake #1.
Then she called me dirty, rotf.
Mistake #2.
Then she said "your sister was paying everything, so why not stay for free?"
Mistake #3. The biggest one.

The whole moral of this blogpost is.. what goes around comes around. Karma is a bitch. Someone found it in the kindness of their heart to do something for you, to help your negative situation, & you took their kindness for weakness. Whether you believe in God or not. God & karma aren't related. Karma is nowhere in the bible. However, you will reap what you sow. So SHANEKA GOODWIN, I hope one day you come across this.. and realize what a fuckin' dumb ass, dirty, good for nothing ass bitch you are. I never liked you. Even when I was being nice to you. I only dealt w| you because my sister asked me to.

...& if that hadn't have been the case; I would have let NIKKY stomp your fuckin' face in.
Real talk.

Oh, and she tried to make my best friend stop being friends w| me.....
Lmao, I love you Eric. <3 style="text-align: right;">.......Wow.. I didn't realize I had so many.
I'm gonna slow down, I promise.

& in closing; I must tell you about the latest thing this bitch Shanita done did. (Shanita is a "friend" of my best friend's whose always in some shit. She's also the hoe of the scene.) So, when Kees got locked up.. remember that post.. well yeah, he was disrespecting her, because she's a hoe. So I guess from there she didn't like him. He ended up seeing her after that, while I wasn't around.. & she tried to shit on him. & of course, she threw me in it. She told him, I said he ate my pussy..
Me & Kees have never even FUCKED. or Kissed. Barely even HUGGED.
But I said he ate my pussy... right.

Okay, that concludes today's post. Thanks for reading. :)<3>

some 4th of July.

I been talkin' to this fine ass dude J.R. Nothing serious, just small talk. I never got around him & actually kicked it w| him since we been talking like that though. So he texts me on Friday, like "I'm off for the 4th, feel free to come over".. so I'm like alright. He's fine so I'm like HELL YEAH! Lol. But anyway, when I get over there.. first he's nowhere to be found. I didn't really care cause I popped an oxy & was feeling great. Then.... he walked outside. WHOAAA!! So I didn't say anything, I wanted him to approach me. He went in the house & came back out w| a chick.

My sister (Penny) was like "oh, HEY J.R. BABY MAMA!"

- ultimate straight face -

words can't describe the amount of saltiness I was feeling. I got my ass up & walked the fuck away to go charge my phone. Then when I got a little battery & came back out, he was in the hallway w| her talking to some other dude. LMAO, I used my hands to seperate 'em & walked right through 'em. & said excuse me in my nastiest, meanest tone. I go sit in my sisters car, to use her car charger or w|e. & I get a text, "i am so sorry i didn't know my bm was gon' be here".

- ultimate straight face -

He still sexy though so I guess I can give him a chance to make it up. But whoa.

That was kinda hard.

To watch a dude I'M CRUSHIN' ON w| another chick.

Wow.


But on another note... I got a tattoo! ;D The one behind my ear that I always wanted. It's music notes w| stars. I didn't really want the star thing going on because it's so common, but he hooked it up. I think I'm gonna get some hearts added to it & maybe some more music notes.

The pain? the pain wasn't as great as everyone was making it seem. It tickled more than it hurt. When I sat down in the chair, I was sweating up a storm, shaking. I was sooo nervous because I thought I was gon' be in tears from the pain. But it was nothing.

& my tattoo artist was cool as hell & he made me feel real comfortable. So that was a plus for him, because next time when I go back I will be requesting him. :)

In the red corner, we have...

Okay, so I'm in a bit of a dilemma. Once again I've gotten myself into something that I'm having a hard time getting out of. You know Chino, right? Yeah, well for some reason.. I just don't think I'm feeling him no more. He's not my type. Never was, I just.. I dunno. For one, I'm a playful mafucka! & he's the serious type that just can't even take a joke. No sense of humor type of person. Although I can see past that, because that may just be good for me... but I don't think I can. & he's.. I dunno.. BUT ANYWAYS!!! This guy Jeremy.. the confusing one.. ooommggg.. All it took was for me to see him. All the I hate you's went out the window. All of the fuck him's went out the window right behind 'em! & now I'm determined. I feel like my pride won't let me just, leave it at that. The aquarius in me is saying, "you have to work for what you want", "don't just give up", "show more intrest".. THIS ISN'T MY STYLE MAN! i'm not the caking type. I don't miss people. This junk is driving me bananas! But.. I think I GOT to have him. I must. There's no other way to get him off my mind. I need to get him where I want him.. get the ball in my court. *sigh...* Sorry Chino, but Jeremy fucked it all up for you. "/ ....

Omg, what did I say? Someone was going to get hurt.....

My first plan of action is to take the "charm" route..

So I send him this picture.
<<<<<

& the subject says, "since I didn't get to see you today.. kisses."

no "lol". no "w| your ugly ass". straight sincerity.

i'm no Casanova but... I think I did a damn good job.

& then I texted him "hope my picture mail made you smile. <3" No "lol" once again.

LOL @ how he walked up to me though. Smile as big as the sun. I felt the love in his hug.

The journey begins...

now, what do I do about Chino?

my thoughts..

So I was already surprised that he was coming out w| another new CD because he's been M.I.A. for so long & i really thought to myself like "nothing ever stays the same, he's gonna release some weak shit & disappear of the face of the earth".. I was wrong. This CD is worth buying in every aspect. He did his thing. "Even when I'm mad" is definitely a song I can listen to over & over, and will more than likely be my new main ringer. :)


& Chinoooo.. yet another post about my new chunky friend.. So, we spent the whole day together yesterday. He called around, I'll say 4:00pm? he met Eric, and Eric got a chance to feel him out & share his opinons w| me. It sounds like he likes 'em, but knowing Eric he'll find something to hate. Uhh, lol. But yeah, I dunno if I'm looking for a reason not to like him because I'm just not ready to like someone as much as I like him yet, or if I just don't want to like him. Because all of yesterday I was looking at him, pointing out every flaw. Like he had on the same shorts he was wearing the last time I saw him. Which isn't that big of a deal because it wasn't back to back. I dunno.. "/. Maybe it's just me. When he was about to leave, in a way I was relieved because I wanted to be alone, but when he left I wish I would have asked him to stay. *sigh*.. Cuzzo always told me to give these hos some Chapter 16 (48 laws of power - use absense to increase respect & honor) but I don't think Chino can handle it. He gets offended when I don't wanna see him. I told him not to pop up at my house, he says "I just won't come at all because you act like you don't want a nigga to see you". Pfft. Just don't pop up at my shit! You feel me? Ugh dudes these days.

I can't wait 'til tomorrow though. Me & big sis planned a little shindig for Chino & her male friend Adrian (which is like my big bro totally in so many ways lmao) and we're supposed to be cooking for 'em & having a "double date" day, maybe watch a movie & whatnot. I guess I can be nice for a day. Give him a little affection. & if that doesn't work.. I'ma let him off his leash.

If I can't figure out the reasons why I like him, then he needs to move around.

God I hate being an aquarius. :|

another post about him..

omggg, i'm doing what i swore to myself I wasn't gonna do.
I'm starting to like him. "/

I'm thinking about him now. I'm waiting on his call. I'm wanting to see him & shit. Ugh. I actually enjoy talking to him. I'm giving all my other friends less & less attention. & what's crazy is..

my fam likes him.

Diddy ft. Keyshia Cole - Last Night

mmmmkkkk, wooooo. remember i told ya'll about Chino right? Well yeah, that's my new lil' thang. ain't nothing sexier than a man who can give you security. He's big & shit.. chunky.. & tall. MMM. So yeah he smoked kush w| me, the first time I've ever smoked that shit.. my head was too gone. We did some running around w| my sister... and at the end of the night, or should I say morning? cause we didn't go to sleep 'til like 7.. we were suuperrr caked up! i never knew how comfortable bigger dudes were!

but yeah, there was this drunk ass dude outside my house last night, talking big shit. My baby handled it though. :) Lmao. I should have recorded that shit.

;x

haa, kees !

yeah, Kees is good. His lying ass.
Psshhh. I'm older than this mafucka!!
all those years thinking he had me on choke.
WTH!!!!

But yeah, he got some speeding tickets.
& had a bench warrant.

He'll be out in no time.